Kevin, a web developer, realized his level of addiction one evening. He found that he and his wife would come home from work each day, eat dinner half talking, half catching up on things on their cell phones, and then turn on the TV and each zone out in their separate phone worlds the rest of the evening. Clearly, this is not what he had signed up for when he said, “I do.”
A recent report revealed that the average American checks their phone every 12 minutes and touches their cell phone 2,617 times a day. A growing number of behavioral scientists are pushing back with a movement called “digital wellness.” As a result, a number of applications have been developed to help individuals monitor their use and take steps to reduce their addiction.
Now I realize that none of us want to admit we have a digital addiction. We defend our need to be tethered to our phone – we need it for work concerns, in case of an emergency call, and the list goes on. And while those needs may be true or they may be a rationalization, if our cell phones are negatively impacting our significant relationship – it is time to reconsider our position.
I downloaded one of the free monitoring apps available called “Moment,” and was unpleasantly surprised with my amount of screen time. While it was not easy to admit – I knew that if my real, in-the-flesh relationships were going to be most important, then my screen time needed to decrease. And am I actively working on it.
My tip today, if your cell phone has become an appendage that has seemingly become more indispensable than your mate – take the monitoring challenge and make those important changes. It may not be easy, but it will be worth it. Start the New Year off with a commitment to making your “in the flesh” relationships priority.