Whether you have been married for 6 months, 6 years, or 60 years, you probably began the journey with your mate with some sort of vision as to what this life together would look like. Perhaps, as you reflect back, it has been wonderful and all that you had hoped for. While for others, it is has been disappointing beyond description.
I am often intrigued when listening to couples grumble about their spouses, problems, lack of commitment, the absence of love, and so on. For example, a husband may state, “She never supports me.” Yet when I ask him what he would like for that support to look, he has no idea. So often, we clearly know what we don’t want but have a very blurry picture of what we do want. What do you want most in your marriage? What were your dreams for your marriage when you began? If your relationship were ideal – what would that look like? Can you sum it up in one word or sentence?
Floyd and Violet Hartwig met as children growing up in Central California. The married in 1947 and were married for 67 years until their death in February of this year. Floyd, at 90, died first, and Violet, 89, died 5 hours later – hand in hand. Their daughter made the statement, “They wanted to go together. It was meant to be this way.”
People around Floyd and Violet knew they had a special connection and simply described it as, “They were dedicated to each other.” Not a lot of flowery fancy words. A very simple observation and statement. Perhaps the vision that most of us had in the beginning of our significant relationship, and still desire, is that “my spouse and I would simply and fully be dedicated to each other.” This week’s tip – I encourage you to re-examine your most important relationship and ask yourself this question, “How can I more clearly demonstrate that I am fully dedicated to my partner?” Then endeavor to demonstrate it.