While that would certainly be my desire for you, far too many parents would have to answer a resounding “No” to that question. It may have been far easier to feel connected and functioning as a unified team before you had children than it did after. Some have referred to “losing that feeling of priority” in their spouse’s life to this newborn child as the “Parenting Crisis.”
Frequently parents will still give lip service to “My spouse is #1” while functionally behaving as though the child or children are #1. When that happens, 18 years can go by; the child leaves home; and the remaining adults find themselves to be strangers to one another. Yet, while this is common, it’s avoidable.
If you were more of a team before kids, you actually have the opportunity to be even more so when you have children. Our offspring are a lot like us, or at least like we were when we were young – sneaky, wily, with an uncanny ability to pit one parent against the other. As parents, the need to be untied is more important than ever.
You may have different approaches to parenting but odds are that your goals for your children are similar – you probably want to raise a kind, responsible, independent, God loving adult. Can you think of a more important team goal than that?
If you have been functioning as two independent parents, perhaps even blaming the other parent for your child’s shortcomings, I encourage you to revisit your parenting role as two connected team mates. Not only will your kids benefit from your united front, but it can be a bonding experience for the two of you!