We began last week to look at the importance of intimacy in a marriage as well as how easily it can slip away. It is not uncommon for a couple to begin to experience a decrease in their intimate connections, but if left unaddressed, it can develop into an extended period of distance. For some, this has grown into years, until one day they wake up and say, “Where did it go?”
Today I want to suggest a few strategies that can be helpful in rekindling the passions that once existed. If you are honest, when you were first married you probably thought (or at least hoped) that these passions would never diminish. But if they have, consider the following:
- I already mentioned last week the importance of communicating interests, plans, and dreams with each other.
- If lovemaking has gone stagnant, begin to reconnect with simple hand holding and gazing into each other’s eyes. Your relationship probably originally began this way and it may be a stage you need to go through again. But I encourage you not to think of it as a stage just to get to somewhere else. It has ongoing merit all its own.
- For men – know that a woman’s sexual desire is aroused when you meet her emotional needs and connect with her relationally. Take time to romance her outside of the bedroom.
- For women – remember that respect is a huge component for men and for a healthy relationship. Make sure that you communicate to him those areas where you respect him.
- Make it a priority to regularly express tenderness and affection with each other.
- Finally, strive to communicate your gratefulness for your partner, demonstrating the kind of love you had for him or her in the beginning of the relationship.
While these few steps are no guarantee that your sex life will be explosive, I would submit that they are critical pieces toward building healthier connections and in turn laying the foundation for greater intimacy.