In a study released last year by the American Sociological Association, it was discovered that Americans with siblings are more likely to stay married than those who were only children. The Ohio State University researchers found that each sibling a person has, up to seven, decreases their risk of divorce by 2%.
Now at first glance, one might wonder what in the world do the siblings that I grew up with have to do with the success or failure of my marital relationship. Great question. The answer is that it is not really about the siblings as much as it is the opportunities for practice that were afforded the individuals.
It would seem that having larger families allows the opportunities to practice good communication and empathy skills as well negotiation skills (Think back to those times when you were arguing with your brother over which game to play, who got to pick the Saturday morning cartoons you were going to watch, or which toys of theirs you wanted to play with).
As you ponder this in relation to your significant other, don’t you frequently find that it is in these areas, communication, empathy, and negotiation that you frequently run into trouble? Think of the times when your partner has said, “You don’t listen, you don’t care, or you are stubborn and impossible to work out anything with.” Those are so often the areas where we struggle.
Now I know that it is too late to go get more siblings (you may find the ones that you have to be more than enough) – but it is never too late to begin practicing these essential skills with your partner. I encourage you to contemplate ways you can demonstrate improved communication, empathy, and more flexible negotiation skills this week – and then begin to intentionally practice them.