Couples always come to see me for counseling because they are in crisis. Now you are reading that and probably thinking “Ah, well, yea!” I know – nothing profound about that. I sometimes think it would be nice if a potential client called and said something along the lines of, “Hi, my wife and I are actually doing well. Communication is good and we really don’t have any issues. But we came across your website and you seem like a nice guy so we thought it would just be pleasant to come in and have an enjoyable visit with you.”
Of course that never happens. But what if it did? What if people got help and acquired skills before they find themselves in crisis?
Recently reading the book “Decision Points,” I found the section on hurricanes quite interesting. One particular statement that jumped off the page at me was “One lesson of the 2004 Florida hurricanes was that solid preparation before a storm is essential to a successful response.”
When you think about that statement, you realize the obvious – if I live in a flood zone, the time to think about levees and drainage issues is not in the middle of a hurricane. It is when the sun is out and there is not a storm in sight. Similarly, the time to prepare for potential couple and family storms that are sure to come, is when the relationships seem to be sailing smoothly.
I encourage you this week – look at potential stressors that are just under the surface or upcoming challenges that may tax the family’s already stretched abilities to adequately address them and consider – “While the sun is still out, how can we prepare for the inevitable storm?” Maybe it is gaining new communication skills or learning patience. What do you need to examine? I would love to hear.