Infidelity

I sit with couples on a regular basis who have been impacted by infidelity.  And I am not talking only about a physical affair.  While unfaithfulness can certainly be sexual, it can just as easily be emotional.  It can be engaged in online or in person.  As I have written about in previous posts, a…

What If?

I don’t know if I asked the question “What If?” a lot when I was a child but I know that I certainly thought it.  “What if I sneak a cookie and nobody notices?”  “What if I light a firecracker that I have placed under a brick?”  Or, one of my favorites was when the…

Happily Ever After?

“And they lived happily ever after.”  Whether we have read that line in storybooks or heard it in movies, if you have been married for any length of time, your “happy ever after bubble” probably burst a long time ago.  But Why?  What happened? You may have felt that you were the luckiest person on…

Criticism

A recently read quote – “If you want to kill a relationship outright, have an affair.  But if you want to bludgeon it to death slowly, use criticism.” Ongoing criticism causes people to feel unloved, attacked, disrespected, and many other feelings that you could add to the list.  If I were to ask an audience,…

That’s Not Fair

“How come David gets a bigger piece of cake than I do.  That’s not fair.”  “It’s her turn.  I had to unload the dish washer last time. That’s not fair.”  We have all heard our children make these kind of statements because they think everything should be fair.  We often just chalk up their complaining…

Flirting

She came into my office loaded for bear.  The previous weekend she and her husband had gone to his company Christmas party.  While there, one of her husband’s co-workers began to talk with him.  She giggled as they recounted “inside” jokes and stories regarding customers.  In the course of the conversation, she even touched his…

Remember How to Play

A couple recently sat in my office – intense, unhappy, and bearing down on their marriage with the same exertion required to open a very tight jar.  In other words, they were working really really hard but were not having success.  The marriage was no longer fulfilling and they both felt unable to meet the…