Are We Growing?

This is a question that seems to rarely get asked by couples but it can be a valuable one. You see, we date and get married and we know what we have in common. For example, you may know that your new spouse is a Type A personality, while you are not quite as driven.…

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Who Wants to Decide?

It has been another long day – dealing with work and kid demands, and you are tired. Fortunately, your husband said that tonight nobody is going to cook – you’re going out for dinner. As you are about ready to head out, he asks, “Where would you like to go to dinner?” It is a…

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Three Critical Appointments – Part One

I recently finished reading a book by bestselling author, Matthew Kelly. Towards the latter part of the book he discussed three appointments that we all have. They aren’t appointments with a prospective boss, or your future wife’s parents, or even someone in law enforcement. They are not complicated but rather are simple, clear, and direct.…

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Laughing Your Way to Sanity

OK – perhaps you can’t really laugh your way to sanity, though it would be nice if you could. But, can humor help you deal with relationship struggles more effectively? To which I would say “Yes.” I recently sat with a couple who had just moved her 89-year-old mother into their home from another city.…

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Is Behavior Contagious?

Now your first thought may be, “Well, the flu is contagious, as is a cold, and certainly COVID, but behavior – I’m not so sure about that. A recent study, published in the journal “Archives of Sexual Behavior,” found that “surprising factors may push partners toward infidelity – including spending time around others who see…

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What are the Real Issues

Conflict seems unavoidable. And I guess, at some level, it is. Now I recognize this can look very different from one relationship to another. For some, there is conflict, often heated, nearly every day. For others, conflict may be mild and infrequent. But it still exists. I want to look at a couple of items…

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Three Feel Goods

Sometimes it may seem that other couples are happier than you. They laugh more and they just seem to enjoy each other more than you and your spouse. Are they just better matched or are they doing something differently? While I can’t speak to how naturally compatible they may be, I do find that most…

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Let’s Be The Symphony!

I love the Colorado Springs Philharmonic. I am moved by the string section and the French horns and the woodwinds. I love it all. And I am often caught off guard when I tear up during a musical piece, with no warning. I have asked myself, “What is that about?” Why am I moved in…

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