As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I talk with couples a lot about communication. We all know how to open our mouths and speak words, but that is no guarantee that we actually know how to communicate. Good communication requires a few skills combined with a lot of intentionality. Today I want to talk about…
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Now you may be thinking, “My marriage is going great! So, why do I need to spring clean it?” We often think that when the marriage is doing well that we are best off to leave things alone. I mean, we certainly don’t want to mess up anything. But it is when we are firing…
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This is a question that seems to rarely get asked by couples but it can be a valuable one. You see, we date and get married and we know what we have in common. For example, you may know that your new spouse is a Type A personality, while you are not quite as driven.…
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I see far too many clients who are holding out for . . . any number of things that prevent them from engaging constructively in their marriage. For example, there may be an issue that is keeping you at odds with your spouse. You know that it needs to be brought up and discussed, but…
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It has been another long day – dealing with work and kid demands, and you are tired. Fortunately, your husband said that tonight nobody is going to cook – you’re going out for dinner. As you are about ready to head out, he asks, “Where would you like to go to dinner?” It is a…
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OK – perhaps you can’t really laugh your way to sanity, though it would be nice if you could. But, can humor help you deal with relationship struggles more effectively? To which I would say “Yes.” I recently sat with a couple who had just moved her 89-year-old mother into their home from another city.…
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Conflict seems unavoidable. And I guess, at some level, it is. Now I recognize this can look very different from one relationship to another. For some, there is conflict, often heated, nearly every day. For others, conflict may be mild and infrequent. But it still exists. I want to look at a couple of items…
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Sometimes it may seem that other couples are happier than you. They laugh more and they just seem to enjoy each other more than you and your spouse. Are they just better matched or are they doing something differently? While I can’t speak to how naturally compatible they may be, I do find that most…
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Remember those early days of dating. While I know that for some of you that may seem like a lifetime ago. But try to think back . . . recall those early connections. When I was in Jr. High School (it wasn’t called middle school back then), a guy gave a girl a St. Christopher…
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I’m sure this will come as no surprise to you, but people are stressed during the holidays. You are probably thinking, “Duh!” It is always interesting to see what things are the most triggering for my clients. For one couple it was who was going to be in charge of the menu and letting other…
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