There is a difference between “privacy” and “secrecy.” I like my privacy. I may want privacy when I take a shower, read a book, or spend quiet time with the Lord. Privacy is important to our independent health and our overall well-being. However, secrecy is another thing. I find couples who close their laptop when…
DetailsIn my last Relationship post we began to look at ways that we as parents have been known to enable our child’s entitled expectations. While we may have done so inadvertently, the consequences are the same. And the only thing more aggravating than an entitled child is an entitled adult – which is what entitled…
DetailsI frequently hear frustration from parents regarding how entitled their children are. They expect all of the privileges that their family and life have to offer without having to exert any effort of their own in the process. They just can’t seem to understand why this happens. As I dig a little deeper, I learn…
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We all know what habits are, patterns that we get into as to how we do things. They become routine, second nature, things that we can just “do” without giving them much thought. Some habits are beneficial while others can be annoying, sometimes even destructive. For example, if you are in the habit of leaving…
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I just finished a session with a client who is very much walking on eggshells. He is anxious, his stomach is in knots, his blood pressure is up, and he has been on the verge of a panic attack. Why? Because there are some issues he knows that he needs to discuss with his mate,…
DetailsChicago psychologist, Nicole Martinez reported that in a study of young married women, “70 percent reported that face-to-face conversations were stopped in their tracks by a partner’s phone use or even active texting.” These intrusions have been referred to by some as “technoference.” We began last week to take a look at some of the…
DetailsIn part 1 of this discussion last week I talked about the difficulties we face if we allow our lives to become stuck with old wounds and offenses. We may have encountered harsh jealousy and selfish behavior from a sibling, feelings of betrayal that we felt over a cheating spouse, or the loss of a…
DetailsI sat with a single mother the other day as she expressed her anger and frustration regarding her ex-husband and a looming custody fight. As she recounted various woundings, I listened with understanding and empathy. I was about to ask how many months they had been apart when she gave an indication that they had…
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I just finished a session with a couple today where this question loomed large. This husband and wife have been married for 15 years and have a couple of kids. While they both have talked about reconciliation, the reality is that he wants to save the marriage and she just wants to escape. Why? Because…
DetailsI recently came across the following quote, “Marriage is your last best chance to grow up.” Now, before I go any further, I really want you to let that sink in. So (with Jeopardy music playing in the background), ponder for a moment those words. Ok – “I’ll take growing up for $400.” Many of…
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