When Disagreements are Hard

Remember when you were dating your future spouse and you seemed to agree on everything? You wanted two children and so did he. You both liked Italian food, wanted to travel, enjoyed hiking, and had the same spiritual goals. Nothing could be better. However, once you got married, you discovered that you weren’t quite as…

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Is Communication an Illusion?

In a quote from a Fortune Magazine article, William H. Whyte said, “The great enemy of communication is the illusion of it.” That is an excellent picture of what so many individuals fall prey to. Your spouse wants you to communicate, so you make every effort to talk more with them. However, even though you…

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Enquiring Minds Want to Know

I remember when this phrase was all the rage as part of an advertising campaign for “The National Enquirer Magazine.” And I can’t help but remember that phrase when I think about healthy relationships. You see, one of the hallmarks of healthy marriages is having an inquisitive mind when it comes to your mate. Whether…

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How Do You Stop the FIght?

I sit with couples on a regular basis who argue and fight. They tell about their conflicts at home and they frequently live those conflicts out in my office. Fortunately, when they are sitting with me, I am often able to redirect them or get them to pause their thinking and consider other possibilities. When…

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Are You Friends?

I recently met with a client who is experiencing some struggles in his marriage. While the struggles aren’t easy, he doesn’t see them as insurmountable because he states with confidence that he and his wife are, and always have been, best friends. Some couples started out as friends before dating, while others began dating, getting…

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Connection Matters

I see many couples in my office who are in the middle of the tornado. By that I mean, they have school age children at home; they both work full-time; then they have to take one kid to gymnastics and the other one to soccer practice. The weekend comes and there are soccer games to…

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