Actions Trump Words

I recently sat with a couple who were in the heat of a disagreement.  They had an argument that morning that had begun small – over a misunderstood comment but was then followed with the phrase “you don’t support me.”  From there things went down hill at full throttle.  But why?  He was completely offended…

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“Let’s Just Be Friends”

The Millennial Generation (those born after 1981) is growing up in a whole new world when it comes to rules of social engagement.  They do not tend to view technology as simply a resource to enhance communication – they see it as the lifeblood of their relationships.  And with this comes many dangers.  Some of…

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Overcoming Conflict

In a recent interview a number of therapists were asked about recommended strategies for overcoming conflict.  This is such an important topic as unresolved conflict can severely erode the foundation of a relationship to the point that it begins to topple.  I want to adapt a few of their responses today to apply toward the…

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Why Can’t We Just Get Along

I have had many couples in my office wonder this very thing.  Why are they in constant conflict?  Why do they seem to argue non-stop?  Why do they leave for work day after day, angry at their spouse?  Why do they disagree about seemingly everything?  What happened to this relationship that began with so much…

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Digital Invasion

I don’t know if you have heard one of those commercials where the mom is texting, the daughter is posting on facebook, the son is playing video games, and the dad is watching sports.  As the commercial continues, it says something to the effect of “this weekend – unplug.”  The commercial reinforces what research is…

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Divorce: Embrace Your Kids

I want to write this morning about a relationship issue that deviates a little from what I normally talk about.  This is not about relating to your spouse or significant other but about relating to your children.  And more specifically, relating to and helping your children after you have gone through a divorce.  So, for…

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Touch

Touch is an amazing communication tool that is frequently overlooked in marriage.  Now that may seem a strange comment.  I mean, we think of marriage and we think of hand-holding, kissing, and sexual intimacy – we think of touch.  But touch is not just limited to romantic touch. I recently had lunch with a pastor…

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How’s Your Thermostat?

Now I can imagine this morning that you are wondering what in the world thermostats have to do with your marriage or relationship.  You may be thinking that perhaps I am going to talk about the temperature gauge of your relationships or something like that.  But actually, it is going to be different than you…

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Respect

In 1965, Otis Redding wrote “R – E – S – P – E – C – T” which was a man’s plea for recognition and respect.  However, it was Aretha Franklin’s 1967 recording of that song that we best know.  She won two Grammys with this a year later.  Most all of us who…

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Updating Your Flying Skills

When my children were young, we used to drive to the Fresno airport, park, and spend an hour or two just watching planes take off and land.  We were mesmerized by the fact that these huge pieces of machinery could get off the ground.  Oh yes, there is a detailed scientific explanation as to how…

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