“Jealousy is a form of delusion, based on the notion that someone’s gain is somehow our loss.” As I recently read that quote, I thought, “Hey that’s a great quote. I can’t believe they thought of that before I did. Boy, I’ll show them.” Ok, only kidding on that last thought. However, what I did…
DetailsYou walk past a co-worker’s desk saying “Good Morning.” He responds with, “Yea, what’s good about it?” You comment to your child that he or she did a nice job on that school project only to have them respond, “Right! You don’t like anything I do.” You send your wife a text expressing how much…
DetailsMy wife and I have four grandkids ranging from 6 months to 4 years of age. As I have watched the newest one with her mother, I continue to be fascinated with the bonding process. I know from watching Erica interacting with our granddaughter, just how vital and easily that connection can happen. And securely…
DetailsI occasionally have the opportunity to officiate wedding ceremonies, usually for couples with whom I have been privileged to do pre-marital counseling. I have never stood with two people who have felt that they were a poor match with each other. Quite the contrary. However, I sit with couples in my office who have been…
DetailsI love watching reruns of “Everybody Loves Raymond” in part because many of Ray and Debra’s interactions are so common to many marriages. Ray has the propensity (as do many of us) to say and do ridiculous things, resulting in Debra often calling him an idiot. Now while I don’t recommend calling your spouse an…
DetailsMost of us have heard the term “alpha” used in reference to male wolves. It conjures up the image of one who is firmly in charge, running the show, dictating what everyone should be doing. It is a picture of power and control. However, I would contend is an inaccurate characterization of wolves and the…
DetailsKevin, a web developer, realized his level of addiction one evening. He found that he and his wife would come home from work each day, eat dinner half talking, half catching up on things on their cell phones, and then turn on the TV and each zone out in their separate phone worlds the rest…
Details“You’re with your other husband again,’ Marilyn’s only husband would say every time she turned to her cellphone while the two were driving to dinner. She thought he was just being his witty-self.” But then his words began to get to her. In the last couple of years, I have written increasingly about our preoccupation…
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I just finished a session with a couple today that was frustrating for them and frustrating for me as well. Why? Because they are not all in. It won’t surprise you to know that I see couples who are having “issues.” All of them. This couple today was no exception. They have been separated for…
DetailsNow at first glance, that question may be confusing. Someone once described addiction as “any coping mechanism or substance used to escape feelings.” This can refer to a variety of issues: alcohol, drugs, gambling, and sex, just to name a few. And one of the ways that a sexual addiction can show up is in…
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