This is a question that many of us ponder, particularly as we get older. Sometimes the answer I hear from an employee might be, “I want to be remembered as a hard and productive worker;” from a neighbor, “as a loyal and trusted friend;” or from a parent, “that I was always there for my…
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Now that may seem like a strange question. You may be thinking, “I don’t want to ‘use’ my friends. That wouldn’t be good.” And I agree. I am asking more about the role that your couples friends play in your own marriage. For example, I know of couples who feel as though their mate never…
DetailsThere is a story told that “Following a parade, the mayor of a large American city was walking with his wife when they passed a man sweeping the streets. The wife recognized the street sweeper as one of her old high school boyfriends. The three had a short conversation before the mayor and his wife…
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I sit with couples on a regular basis who argue and fight. They tell about their conflicts at home and they frequently live those conflicts out in my office. Fortunately, when they are sitting with me, I am often able to redirect them or get them to pause their thinking and consider other possibilities. When…
DetailsWe usually don’t think about memory in the context of it being something we shape. Either we have a good memory or we don’t, or so we think. However, it is not really a questions of will we remember things but more one of which things will we remember? For example, if your time is…
DetailsYou get home from work and once again your spouse has . . . . (fill in the blank). It could be – left the dirty dishes in the sink, didn’t feed the dog, left the dirty laundry on the floor, or numerous other possibilities. And with this repeated annoyance – the conflict begins. What…
DetailsI frequently hear individuals express their seeming inability to control their reactions to their feelings. They can be intense feelings of anger or of love and they feel compelled to act upon them, often to their own detriment. But here is the truth – you don’t have to act the way you feel. You see,…
DetailsIf you are breathing, you have at one time or another encountered individuals who get angry and fly off the handle at the slightest provocation – or maybe, seemingly, with no provocation at all. It may be a spouse, a child, a parent, a boss, a co-worker, or even a best friend. You may find…
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Now while your first thought might be, “I don’t have any expectations in my relationships,” as you give it a little thought, I believe that you probably do. For example, if you are married, you most likely began the marriage assuming some things with regard to: how money would be managed; how much time you…
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Whether we are talking about a marriage, a work place relationship, or a friendship – most of us would, at least initially, think of disagreements as a negative experience. While I know that it often feels that way, is it really? Disagreements come in all shapes and sizes. Sometime we have minor arguments – such…
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