Most of us have grown up hearing that “It is better to give than to receive.” And while that is a very true statement on many different levels, it also, unfortunately, has come with some pitfalls. Being on the receiving end, whether it is gifts, money, or simply kindness can be very difficult for many…
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I sat with a couple yesterday when the wife asked this very question. Her husband had secretly shredded their finances, spending all of their money and running up debt. She never had a clue – until the overdraft notices began to arrive by phone and mail, from the bank. She was livid. She had been…
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As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I strongly believe that marriages can be saved much more frequently than they are – if the two people involved will honestly do the work that is needed. However, I recognize that in a society that is all too toxic and does little to encourage marital longevity, divorce is…
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“Well, that depends – what’s the challenge?” Oh, no need to worry. It’s not eating something disgusting like eating a dish of bugs or scaling the face of Half-Dome in Yosemite. This should actually be pretty doable. “Ok. Well what is it?” you may ask. It is being kind to your spouse. While some may…
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I just finished a session with a couple today where this question loomed large. This husband and wife have been married for 15 years and have a couple of kids. While they both have talked about reconciliation, the reality is that he wants to save the marriage and she just wants to escape. Why? Because…
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Now that may seem like a strange question. You may be thinking, “I don’t want to ‘use’ my friends. That wouldn’t be good.” And I agree. I am asking more about the role that your couples friends play in your own marriage. For example, I know of couples who feel as though their mate never…
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Now if you are like me, the first time I heard this term I thought, “Now each generation has a new label, so what in the world differentiates a Gen Z?” Author/Speaker/Researcher Josh McDowell recently reported these characteristics of those labeled “Gen Z:” They are between the ages of 6 and 24 They are the…
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Lisa walked into the room, took one look at Sammy and, without saying a word, turned and walked out. Perplexed, Sammy silently wondered, “What was that all about?” Thinking that perhaps Lisa had come into the room and then remembered something else that she needed to do, he went on about with what he was…
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Have you ever made that statement or felt that way? If you are human, then you probably have. As I sat with a client yesterday, I was reminded of this very tendency. You see, we don’t like being in the hot-seat, feeling attacked or unfairly accused. Therefore, when we do, our first reaction is usually…
DetailsYou come home from work and find your wife despondent. You ask “What’s the matter?” and she unloads on you about what one of your grown children said to her that left her feeling rejected. Wanting to help, you indicate that you will call that child and get this straightened out. But to your surprise,…
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