At one time or another, all of us have experienced feelings of loneliness. While it may be temporary, for many it seems to be a chronic condition. A story from a recent PastorServe leter caught my eye as it discussed the magnitude of the problem in England. The letter states: The United Kingdom recently created…
For most couples, the giving and receiving of an engagement ring is a memorable event. This is usually followed by an exchange of wedding rings, which signifies the commitment that the individuals are making to each other. But I wonder how people view their ring’s significance? There was a recent article asking people about their…
Many of you probably know that the title comes from some of the lyrics to the song “Celebration,“ from Kool & The Gang, released in 1980. When most of us married, we assumed that we were beginning a partnership with the person who would become our biggest and loudest cheerleader. However, over the years, we…
Now at first glance, you may think that the title is asking whether you are personally improving in your emotional life or whether you are continuing in some kind of pain? And while that might be a valid question, this is asking something entirely different. The question for you to consider today is more along…
American poet Jimmy Santiago Baca once wrote, “Being human without forgiveness is like being a guitarist without fingers.” Most of us think of forgiveness as optional – if I feel like it or if the other person has groveled enough to earn it. But if Baca is correct, then forgiveness is anything but optional –…
When life gets challenging, we all need understanding and support – especially from our spouse. While we all agree with that, or at least we think we do, I would ask, “What are we talking about?” You see when someone says “support” it is easy to think we all mean the same thing but oftentimes…
A New York University researcher reported last year that in a study which allowed people to bend the rules (cheat), individuals were more likely to do so in order to avoid loss rather than to make a gain. I experience this application to marriage on a daily basis. As I encounter couples in my counseling…
I love watching reruns of “Everybody Loves Raymond” in part because many of Ray and Debra’s interactions are so common to many marriages. Ray has the propensity (as do many of us) to say and do ridiculous things, resulting in Debra often calling him an idiot. Now while I don’t recommend calling your spouse an…
If you have more than one child, you have probably at some point felt “ganged up on” by the kids. Knowing the power inequity they experience, because you are the parent and they are not, they often find strength in numbers. It is to be expected. However, what you didn’t count on was being ganged…
Normally when we think about protecting ourselves, especially our heart, we imagine that we are attempting to keep others from hurting us. The idea of “protection” conjures up pictures of our being attacked or mistreated in some manner that cause us to erect defenses that will keep us safe. And while those images are accurate,…