More and more I find myself listening to clients describe fights they have with their mate that drag on forever – or at least for a really long time. But do they need to? One would think that couples would want fights to end quickly so that they could move on to enjoying each other.…
For so many people the evenings seem to be a time to collapse. You give your best energies at work, then you transport kids to various practices, try to get some dinner in everybody, and then – you get to the couch read to veg out. You don’t want to be bothered with bills, or…
As we go through life, nearly all of us acquire friends. Some make and maintain an abundance of friends; some have a number of acquaintances but only a few close friends; and some can count the number of people they call true friends, on one hand. You may even recall a time in high school…
It is quite amazing that we ever found time to connect – but we did – somehow. Think back to when you were dating. You probably rearranged your schedule in order to see your future mate. You left work early; you postponed other scheduled plans; you did whatever it took in order to spend time…
It’s 6:30 AM and you are up getting ready for work. Your spouse is also waking up to the day ahead and now is the time for your first connection. What do you do with this moment? Do you say, “Good Morning!” and ask them how they slept or do you tend to pass by…
You rush in the front door, after work, to change clothes, in order to hurry to an HOA meeting that you are running late for. You need to scarf down some dinner and go. Unfortunately, your wife forgot the conversation that you had that morning regarding your tight schedule. She had promised to have something…
I hope that everyone reading this knows nothing about patterns if abuse. It is my wish that none of you have ever been abused and certainly have never been an abuser. However, I know that this is not true. And the patterns I am referring to today are those of emotional abuse. This is probably…
Whether we realized or not, when we married our spouse, we probably went into the marriage with a set of expectations. We most likely weren’t even aware that we did so – that is, until our expectations crashed into each other’s. For example, you may have grown up in a very traditional household where your…
I sat with a couple yesterday that are having enormous problems with connection. He feels that his wife is aloof and doesn’t want to connect with him, which couldn’t be less true. She is feeling that he has no idea what makes her tick nor does he have a desire to. They both say it…
Do you remember as a kid, playing a game such as kick-ball, volleyball, miniature golf, or any number of other games – when someone would make an initial mistake and would immediately say “Do-over?” It was if they were saying, “That mistake I made didn’t really happen. I want another shot at it.” And as…