You just got home from the dentist and told your wife that he wanted $200 to fix a tooth. While he had explained to you the risk of waiting to get it fixed, such as breaking the tooth and then needing a root canal, you just don’t want to shell out the money right now. Your wife warns you that waiting is a bad idea. I’ll bet you can almost predict what happened next. Yep, three weeks went by and one afternoon he bit into a sandwich and “crack,” the tooth was broken in half.
Now, if you are like so many of us, the way that we handle that situation is comical, if we weren’t so serious about it. That husband went home in pain and complaining that this wouldn’t have happened if the sandwich shop had used fresher bread, and the wife couldn’t resist saying, “I told you so.” Needless to say, big icicles hung off their words for the rest of the evening.
This scenario has played itself out repeatedly in home after home. So what might be a more productive solution? Ogden Nash said, “To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.”
Profound words in a little rhyme. If we will learn those two skills, we will be much further ahead in our marriages: 1) when we make a mistake, rather than deflect blame, people respect us far more when we just admit and own it; and 2) when we have cautioned or given advice that has gone unheeded, but is later proven to be correct, we are far more helpful and loving when we listen with understanding and say nothing. I encourage you to try these strategies this week.