“Things will get better.” This is a phrase of encouragement that we use with regularity. And it is often very true. For example, you are sad at the loss of a pet – “Things will get better.” True. As we typically experience grief, experiences are integrated into our new normal and things do get better. We wake up today late, we realize the clothes we wanted to wear are dirty, and we are out of cereal for breakfast. We tell ourselves that things will get better, and they probably will.
But how about – you are gambling in Vegas, you are down $5,000 dollars. It was money you couldn’t afford to lose and you sure can’t afford to lose anymore. But you hit the ATM machine again, continuing to plop down your money on a particular number on the roulette wheel, saying, “Things will get better.” Will they? Hmm – they might begin to get better if you keep your cash in your pocket, but probably not until then.
I regularly see couples distant from one another or embroiled in conflict state, “Oh well, things will get better.” But then they don’t. Why not? Because rarely do things really improve just by themselves. Things get better in my relationship when I – do things differently, learn to communicate more effectively, express kindness, speak words of love, honor my spouse’s boundaries and requests, and a multitude of other decisions. Things get better when I take action. Otherwise, I am probably kidding myself.
As you think about the temperature of your significant relationship today, are there areas where things are not as you would like, that you simply address with “Things will get better?” Take a closer look at what changes you need to make in your approach. Then, who knows, they really may begin to improve.