We all know what habits are, patterns that we get into as to how we do things. They become routine, second nature, things that we can just “do” without giving them much thought. Some habits are beneficial while others can be annoying, sometimes even destructive.
For example, if you are in the habit of leaving the closet light on – that is annoying. However, if you regularly leave your keys in your unlocked car, well, you may find yourself walking before long. I have heard some say that their habits are just who they are and they can’t be changed. However, habits are not ingrained traits that are permanent – they can absolutely be changed – if you want to.
Some of our more problematic habits may need to be altered for the benefit of our relationships. Here are two examples that will give you an idea as to what I mean.
1) Allowing affection to grow cold. If you were like most of us, in that early dating relationship, you couldn’t wait to hold his hand or kiss him when you first saw him drive up. But now – well, “We have just gotten out of the habit.” You may think that connection has “lost its magic.” But I would submit that maybe the magic is missing because the affection has gone AWOL. Try re-establishing the habit of greeting your mate, when they come in, with a hug or a kiss.
2) We’ve all done it – looking at and constantly checking our cell phones. This has become a really bad habit of people in 2022, but for the health of our most important relationships, it is one that needs to be broken. It’s time for us to form new habits in this area – such as having phone free times, putting the phones out of sight in a different room when you are home. Try cuddling on the couch instead – letting your mate know that they are more important to you than the phone.
It’s nice to know that habits are not in concrete. I encourage you to consider what habits your relationship could benefit from changing.