There is a difference between “privacy” and “secrecy.” I like my privacy. I may want privacy when I take a shower, read a book, or spend quiet time with the Lord. Privacy is important to our independent health and our overall well-being.
However, secrecy is another thing. I find couples who close their laptop when their spouse walks into the room or hurriedly get off a phone call because they don’t want them to know what they are saying or to whom they are talking, foster mistrust. And yet, I see far too many people wave the “privacy” flag, claiming their right, when what they really want to do is keep secrets.
I once heard a pastor, Jim Tomberlin, say, “If you are not transparent, then you are not authentic, and if you are not authentic, then you are a hypocrite.” This is certainly applicable to our most cherished relationships.
Gerald Rogers, writing after his 16 year marriage wound up on the divorce heap, wisely said, “If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING . . . Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know if she will like what she finds . . . If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her . . . you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.”
This week as you consider your significant other, I urge you to ask yourself, “Am I being transparent or am I keeping secrets?” If you desire to foster trust, intimacy and love at its best – work to become fully transparent.