Don’t be fooled! Those kids of yours are smarter than you may think. Oh, sure – they may look innocent enough, but they are shrewd. You see, with no training, those children somehow know how to take two seemingly intelligent adults and pit them against each other. They know and are competent at splitting us as parents.
It is almost as though they come with this skill hard-wired in their DNA because they are so good at it. You would think that we would remember this ploy because we, no doubt, tested the “unified parent limits” in the same way when we were kids.
Your offspring may make statements such as: “Mom said I could.” “Dad never listen’s to me.” “It’s not fair – Mom never makes me do that.” “You’re mean. I’m telling Dad.” And so often, because we want to be perceived as a good parent, we buy into their manipulation. Of course, in joining with them in alliance, we are being pitted against our mate.
It is important they we be on the same page with the other parent if we are going to be effective in raising independent responsible adults. Yes, we may have very different strengths and perspectives than the other parent. But those differences are important and are to be embraced. Parents don’t need to be clones of each other but they do need to respect and support one another and model that behavior for their kids.
Sometimes as parents, it may feel like is it us (the parents) against them (the kids). This is why it is so important to remain unified as parents for the benefit and welfare of our children.