I have had many couples in my office wonder this very thing. Why are they in constant conflict? Why do they seem to argue non-stop? Why do they leave for work day after day, angry at their spouse? Why do they disagree about seemingly everything? What happened to this relationship that began with so much hope? Why can’t they just get along?
This is by no means a new problem. We are reminded of this in the writings of the apostle Paul in Romans 12:18 – “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Now some of you may be thinking right now – “well, with most people I can live peaceably – but certainly not with this spouse of mine.” In John 17, Jesus prays that we may all be one just as He and the Father are one. Oneness and unity are wonderful ideas – but are even better when they are lived out. They are not just theoretical.
We saw in the verse above the phrase “as it depends on you.” We often feel that the reason that we can’t get along is completely due to the other person’s words and behaviors. We are a little slower to identify and own our part in the disunity. And yet, in our marriage and our relationships, we are called to unity. We talk about oneness in marriage – which is supposed to be physical, emotional, financial, psychological, and spiritual. Oneness is probably what we were hoping for when we said “I do.” Yet, somewhere along the way unity and oneness have been trampled under foot and discarded. What can you do this week to improve the “getting along” with your significant other? Peacefulness is a lot better way to live.
Unity – who knows, it just might turn your life around.