You have just returned from you annual physical somewhat stunned. Your doctor has told you that your cholesterol numbers are through the roof and you have to cut down your carb intake and get on the treadmill multiple times per week. More specifically, he said, “If you want to be around for your grandkids – you have to change.” Yikes! Boy, that would motivate me – or so we think.
Every day of the week individuals are told things just like this. Sometimes it is, “Get that tooth filled now or you will need a root canal next month.” “Get those tires replaced today or you are going to wind up stranded along the side of the road.” “Quit ingesting certain things into your body or you will die.” In other words, we have to make a change now or there will be a more dire consequence later. Yet many will risk the root canal, the blown tire or even death.
These words are no less true when it comes to our most important relationships. In spite of predictable consequences, I see individuals in my office who will continue to ignore, condescend, and berate their spouse, then act surprised when they come home one day and find the closet cleaned out and their mate gone.
What would it take to motivate you to make necessary change? If impaired health or the threat of death doesn’t do it for many, will fear of losing one’s spouse be a motivator? And yet I want to encourage you to ponder this with a different focus. Rather than be motivated to change because of a feared consequence – what if I made needed changes because I want to honor and love my spouse; I want to truly become the person I portray myself to be; or because I want to please my Heavenly Father? If you were to choose to make changes today from a place of love with your significant other – what would they be?