Well, we all probably have at least a little of it. But some may have an overabundance. Of course, you may simply be asking – what is it?
It is very common for people to mistakenly view themselves as “the star of the show.” They imagine that they are at center stage and everything that happens is about them. And why shouldn’t it be? I mean, after all, they are the star – or so they think.
While we may not be that blatant in our thinking, consider this real life example of client statements. A wife said to her husband, “I hate my life.” The husband immediately gets upset as he thinks, “Well I’m part of her life, so she must hate me.” However, she may have been referring simply to her work life. But in his world, where he is the star, it was easy to make her statement about him and how it impacts his life. You see, egocentric bias can take a toll on our most important relationships.
If we want to be in relationships that are less reactive, it is important that we put our own ego in its place. For example, we can be intentional about recognizing that our points of view are not the only valid ones. We can learn that other’s lives, and their “stage plays” are just as significant as ours. But the biggest factor that helps keep our egos in check is recognizing that God, the Creator of the universe, truly is at center stage.
I encourage you today to try to listen to your spouse, your kids, or your co-workers with a different filter. Listen as though what they are saying is about them, and see how you might enter into their world.