Marriages struggle. Ok – not a profound statement in a world where marriages are falling apart all around us. But it is still a true statement. Whether I am at a Men’s Bible Study or running into friends at the store, a common question that I get asked is, “How can I make my marriage better? Is there a secret?”
My first response is – “No, there is no secret.” But I follow that up with, “But there are certainly steps you can take to lay a solid foundation that will help to develop a vibrant marriage.” I want to take the next few weeks to lay some of the bricks for this foundation.
Most relationships start out positively enough, but before long that become gunked up with unresolved crud (I know – not real clinical terms). And if left unresolved, walls of resentment begin to build. To begin to build a solid foundation for your relationship, it is essential that you begin to clear away the relational clutter. This starts with forgiveness – with wrapping grace all around this relationship.
When we find ourselves stuck in resentment and stubbornness, it is difficult to express any tenderness or compassion. Instead we snip at our spouse over issues that aren’t the real issues, we talk to them condescendingly, we undermine their attempts to grow, and the list goes on. But forgiveness clears the path for the possibility of a restored relationship. When we are willing to forgive, we create a softness with our spouse that better prepares us to resolve conflicts, as well as paves the road for greater emotional and physical intimacy.
This week’s tip – as you look inward at the array of behaviors for which you would want forgiveness – offer that level of grace to your spouse.