“Well, I may not be the best parent in the world, but at least I make sure that my kids have something to eat, unlike John and Susan next door.” “I know I could treat my spouse better, but have you noticed how Sandy talks down to her husband. I mean, I would never do that.”
Judgments – we make them every day. Many are necessary – like “which is the better deal on laundry detergent” or “do I like the blue shirt or the green shirt better.” We even make intelligent judgments about such things as “the most efficient route to work” or “which candidate should I vote for.” Judgments are often necessary – especially when it comes to absolute standards of right and wrong. For example, if asked “Is it wrong to murder?” I doubt that we would waffle on our answer. I can’t imagine that we would say, “Well, it depends – if this is your first one this week? I mean, if you only murder one person, then you are certainly doing better than the person who has murdered three people.”
Of course we don’t say that. It would be ridiculous. Yet, we often compare ourselves to others in order to feel better about ourselves. We might make a negative judgment about another person’s character if we were to state, “They are an awful person because they yelled at their kids and that’s not how I operate.” We often compare ourselves to others, including our mate, justifying why they are: inferior to us, not as smart, or not as ethical. And yet, this dysfunctional thinking actually does nothing to help us improve ourselves. It only contributes to more negative feelings towards those we are supposed to love.
This week, rather than compare – I encourage you to reflect on how you are doing in your thoughts, feelings, and actions in relation to who God has called you to be. Then using what you learn about yourself – love the socks off those with whom you are in relationship.