So, how does your marriage stack up with everyone else’s? Are you doing better than most or are you fearful that you are falling behind where you should be (whatever that means)? Or maybe a better question to ask is, “What does it matter?”
Social media was originally created with probably good intent. However, it has created a very anxious culture and largely for this very reason – comparison. You see, people tend to post their best sides on social media: the terrific birthday party they threw for their spouse last weekend; the wedding pictures with every hair in place; or that beach vacation that seems to capture the perfect life. It is so easy to see those posts and feel as though everyone else has the ideal marriage and has it all together. But I can assure you – it ain’t so.
Unfortunately, in social media we don’t see the full picture. Nobody writes a post about the big fight they had with their wife last night or post pictures of their messy house. But even though they are not reflected in their posts, trust me – in real life – they are there.
It is important to realize that those who only present the pictures of perfection on social media, still live messy lives just like the rest of us. So, the concern needn’t be, “How do we compare?” but rather a genuine conversation with our spouses about how we are doing? Not in relation to some other couple, but just in our own world. Are you happy with how you are relating and growing together? If so, terrific! If there are some bumps to smooth out, then address those together. But let’s stop making comparisons to unrealistic pictures that are not based in reality. Let’s instead focus on what is most loving and what works for you as a couple.