We look at indicators all the time – the gas gage tells us the car is empty or full (or somewhere in between); the thermostat can tell us how hot or cold our house is; or the altimeter in a plane can keep us informed regarding the elevation at which we are flying. But is that all we would pay attention to?
I recently read a post by an acquaintance who has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. He was caught off guard by this as he has diligently seen his doctor for annual physicals with all checkups and blood tests indicating he was healthy. However, these were only some of the possible indicators. MRIs and Cat-scans are others that might have caught the disease earlier.
Likewise, if my house thermostat reads that it is 70 degrees in my house but ice is forming on the inside of my windows, something is wrong. If the plane’s altimeter indicates that I am cruising at 20,000 feet but I see the ground rushing dangerously toward me, I might need to conclude that the altimeter is sending me wrong information.
I see couples on a regular basis who think that their marriage is “not that bad.” (Of course I am always surprised by that statement, as I don’t know anyone who begins marriage with the dream of it being “not that bad.”) They come to this conclusion because no one seems to be yelling at the other. That is the indicator by which they are drawing their conclusion. However, they are stunned when they wake up one day to discover that their spouse has left.
You see there are a multitude of indicators that let us know what kind of shape our marriage is in. Such things as: the levels at which we communicate, the tone of voice that we use with our mate when we are frustrated, the health of our sexual and non-sexual touch, and many others. What are the various indicators that you look at to determine the vibrancy of your marriage? I encourage you and your spouse to each make a list this week and then take a look to see how similar or dissimilar they might be. Your ability to do this just might be an indicator all by itself. I would love to hear about the indicators you identify.