OK – perhaps you can’t really laugh your way to sanity, though it would be nice if you could. But, can humor help you deal with relationship struggles more effectively? To which I would say “Yes.”
I recently sat with a couple who had just moved her 89-year-old mother into their home from another city. While she certainly would seem to be a loving and caring daughter to do this, and she is, things aren’t quite that simple. You see, her mother is, and always has been, mean, controlling, demeaning, dismissive, demanding, and the list could go on. The daughter has made a concerted effort to just take the abuse and continue to love her mom. But she is able to do this for about three days before she loses it and blows her stack. Of course, her mother then can play the poor victim, which is even more aggravating.
However, the husband is able to deal with his mother-in-law without losing his mind. Now I know that part of this is due to the fact that it is not his mother and she hasn’t been abusive with him for 60 plus years. But another item that is helpful in his relationship with her is his ability to use humor. Often when she makes a demeaning statement, he might respond with a light-hearted comeback or a refusal to respond in the manner that she is aiming for. His mother-in-law wants for him to lose his cool, but he refuses to allow her toxicity to determine his responses.
So, many times, refusing to go to the dark places that an unhealthy individual tries to take us, is essential to our mental welfare. And humor just might be the ticket. It is important to remember that, while using humor can be a powerful tool in not bowing to a toxic person, it must never be used to mock or make fun of someone. It is simply a softer, and frankly, a more enjoyable approach, when dealing with difficult people.
“A gentle answer turns away wrath.” Proverbs 15:1