Ok – now that I have your attention, let me acknowledge that when many of you see or hear the topic of sex broached in a discussion, a plethora of feelings may wash over you. For some it may involve thoughts of connection and intimacy – for others, an ongoing battleground. While I doubt that tips here are going to radically change your sexual landscape, it is my desire to at least generate some new thinking on the subject. Today’s tip is actually going to be the first in a three week topic. So – here we go.
Today’s tip is primarily for guys, but most women will probably nod their heads in agreement. A study that came out of the Gottman Institute in Seattle, reported that there is a direct correlation between sexual engagement and the willingness of partners to share in the day to day running of their lives. Specifically, men who do housework have more sex than men who don’t. Women, in this study, found their husbands who contributed to housework and childcare as having greater sex appeal than couples in which the husband was chore-free.
Now guys, don’t get confused and just think it is a simple cause and effect scenario – “do the laundry = sex,” “load the dishwasher = sex.” What the study revealed was that sexiness is directly connected to partnering – sharing the day to day events, details, and struggles of life. “Wait – are you saying that I should be actually living life with my mate as genuine partners?” Yes! “And when I do, by virtue of a deeper level of connectedness, I will be desired at a more intimate level?” Yes!
I know, it is easy to think – “well, duh,” but many have little or no sexual connection with their mate because they are not engaged in a true joint venture in life. I encourage you today – if you want to improve you intimacy – begin by getting in the trenches with your spouse and doing life together.