My thoughts today are going to be geared for the most part to those of you who are single? While you may be dating or even in a relationship, you have not yet decided to “settle down,” “tie the knot,” or “allow yourself to be caught.” Many in this situation figure that they should use this time to “play the field” or even “sow some wild oats.” But you might be wondering if that is really the best game plan.
A recent study conducted by two professors from the University of Denver revealed that this approach of living on the wild side while you are still single may have untended consequences. As reported in Psychology Today, those who had multiple sexual partners were found, in many cases, not to have experienced the same degree of satisfaction in marriage as those who had sex with only one partner.
One of their findings reflected the incredible choices that people have today – whether that be in technology, fast food restaurants, or in potential mates. They discovered that the greater the number of sexual partners one had, the more difficulty many experienced in making a commitment to just one. While a person may eventually narrow their choice and marry, he or she may still be watching for better options.
The researchers also discovered that cohabitation works against happiness in marriage as well. In the 21st Century, rather than something that leads to marriage, cohabitation has become just another part of dating and has been referred to as “cohabidating.” Since those living together have not necessarily made their choice of a lifelong mate, they often experience beginning and ending several relationships, and may even get pretty good at it. It is easy for that tendency to carry over into an eventual marriage, rather than learning to navigate the challenges that long-term relationships present.
So, the tip for singles today is this – before you embark on sowing wild oats, re-examine your ultimate goals and see how the decisions you make today will best serve them. Doing so may greatly increase your opportunity for a more fulfilling marriage.