I remember a story from a number of years ago, that a friend related regarding his parents. He said that when he was growing up, his “normal” was different from that of many of his school friends. He related that his parents kissed in the kitchen every morning, his dad brought his mom flowers once a week, and that his parents went out on a “date” at least twice a week. They even got away a few times a year for romantic weekends. He didn’t think much of his parent’s “normal” until he encountered friends who experienced a very different reality. Many of them had parents who fought frequently, rarely had a civil conversation, and almost never went out on dates. And of course, there were numerous friends whose parent’s marriages had deteriorated into divorced.
Likewise, I remember my friend who lived across the street from me when I was in Jr. High school, whose parents would sit in the living room for the first half hour when his dad arrived home from work. The children, actually no one, was allowed to infringe upon that time. It was a sacred time for the couple to debrief after the day of work; to catch-up; and most of all, to reconnect.
Frequently, newlyweds start making their relationship a priority in similar ways. But then after a few years of marriage, socializing with friends, children coming on to the scene, and any number of other intrusions become priority – and complacency creeps into the relationship. If not caught, it can take over and even erode the underpinnings of the marriage.
What did the two couples described above know that many seem to miss? Something relatively simple but profound. If I water my garden (continue to nurture my marriage), it will grow. If I fail to tend to it, it will die. I encourage you to closely examine the health of your marriage this week. See what has suffered because of busy schedules and complacency. Recall the ways you used to make it a priority and see how you might elevate it to that place of importance again. By doing so, you just might recapture that life that you wanted when you began this journey with your mate. How wonderful might that be?