Texting and smart phones have brought the world to our fingertips in so many ways. While our parents didn’t have access to these tools growing up – “for better or worse,” we do. They are now a source of both communication and distraction.
One research study discovered that nearly 20% of couples feel closer to each other as a result of exchanging messages through texting. I can fully relate to this as my wife and I send each other brief messages through the workday, which lets us each know that the other is thinking about us.
However, as a couple shared with me this week, trying to text about major conflicts and issues more often results in poor communications, misunderstandings, and flared tempers. When we attempt to have major exchanges through texting, we miss body language and other non-verbal cues as well as tone of voice. These are critical to increased understanding.
The study went on to point out that the amount of time spent online and texting has been a source of distraction for many couples. Twenty-five percent of cell-phone owners surveyed indicated that they felt unimportant when their partner was focused on his or her cell phone when they were together. This has been the source of argument which has a distancing effect with many couples.
So, what is this week’s tip? Three suggestions actually: 1) If you need to talk with your partner about something significant – do it in person, 2) give people you are with priority over your cellphone – the virtual world will be there later, so put the phone away, and 3) reach out to your mate, using texting in ways that will let him or her know how much they matter.