I am frequently amazed at individuals who seem to believe it is their God-given purpose, to keep their spouse humble. That person will point out every mistake that their husband or wife makes, correct each perceived error, and avoid giving praise, even when it is deserved. They will then explain to me their rationale – “If I say too many nice things to her, it will go to her head and then she will be impossible to live with.” Really? Of course, the result of this person’s actions probably doesn’t keep his or her spouse humble, but does keep them miserable and resentful.
A psychologist from the University of Buffalo found that spouses who put their mates on a pedestal usually find themselves happier. Couples who were the happiest were those whose mates rated them more positively than they did themselves. You see, most of us know in our head that we are not the hottest man or woman on the planet. But isn’t it very cool when our spouse believes that we are? We know that we have a tendency to make mistakes, really making a mess of things at times. We are probably in no danger of getting a big head.
But when our spouse is in our corner cheering for us, supporting us, telling us how amazing we are, and truly believing in us and our potential – it is pretty hard not to get excited. Excited about the not only their praise, but excited about our spouse and our relationship as a whole.
So, my tip this week – do you want to be happier both as an individual as well as a couple? Then look for what you like about your mate . . . . and then tell them.