“I am telling you, she gives me such a headache.” “The way that he treats me leaves me with a churning stomach.” “All we ever seem to do is fight – it makes me sick.” Have you ever felt this way? If so, you’re not alone. In a study that was reported at the American Psychosomatic Society meeting, evidence continues to grow indicating that marriage has an impact on your health. For the purposes of this study, couples were given minor wounds on their skin. Those wounds were then monitored over a two month period as couples were engaged in various levels of communication and conflict. In short, couples who resolved conflict constructively and lovingly, healed the quickest. Those who resorted to criticism, sarcasm, and belittling – healed the slowest. It took their wounds 40% longer to heal.
The implications of this study for us are clear. The manner in which we communicate with our partner affects both our health and theirs. When we resort to name calling and put downs, we cause the release of chemicals that promote stress and anxiety. When our goal is to win the argument as opposed to finding a mutually beneficial solution, we do harm to our own body. In a season in which healthcare is a hot topic – with fears that we will soon no longer have readily available quality health care, perhaps this morning’s topic is timely. Perhaps, by doing something as simple as learning to communicate more lovingly with our partner, we can be proactive about improving our own health.
Do you want to be healthier today? Maybe that begins with something as simple as how you resolve conflict with your spouse. I encourage to consider new ways that you might start doing that – today.