I often get a variety of responses when I ask a question like this. Unfortunately, some may respond with, “I had dreams for my marriage when I was younger, but those are long gone.” Others might say, “I will deal with my dreams sometime in the future.”
In talking with my financial advisor recently, he asked me, “When do you want to retire?” Now if you know me at all then you know my standard answer is “Never!” His point, however, was that if someone wants to retire, say in 10 years, they can’t wait for 10 years to begin planning for it. They need to begin planning now so that they can make their retirement dreams a reality.
Similarly, when I ask “What are you dreams for your marriage?” the best responses may begin with planning. Perhaps your dreams are to travel more once the kids are grown; or maybe you want to do volunteer work together with your spouse. Some might state that their dreams involve better communication with their mate, or increased time studying the scriptures together, or any number of other items.
The point is that dreams for your relationship don’t have to be shelved as the years go by. They can take on a new vibrancy and serve to revitalize your relationship. You may even learn things about your spouse that you never knew before.
So here is my tip this week, and it is relatively simple. Find some time to sit down with your partner and ask them this question – “What were your dreams for us when we first were married?” Listen, without defensiveness. Listen for learning. It just might be an eye-opening experience.