As I crawl out of bed in the mornings and make my way into the bathroom, I turn on the light and glance into the mirror. Fortunately, what I see first thing in the morning gets at least slightly better before I leave the house. But part of the reason that it improves is because I do my best to pay attention to what I see. If my hair is sticking out a hundred different directions, I may want to take notice of that in the mirror and make some alterations. Otherwise, you would be asking – why bother to look in the mirror? Which would be an excellent question. In this situation most of us pay pretty good attention to what we see staring back at us.
Another great reflection of ourselves that we can observe, is seen through the eyes of our spouse. While we may not want to recognize it, he or she probably knows us better than any other person. They can see both our strengths and our weaknesses, areas where we shine as well as our flaws, our beauty, and yes, our ugliness. We oftentimes reject what they reflect because we don’t like what we see. Rather than address our spouses perspective – we belittle and dismiss them. This makes about as much sense as me yelling at, breaking, or painting over the mirror in the morning. While I can certainly choose these courses of action, it will not change the way that I look and would be a pretty foolish approach. Belittling my spouse in the face of accurate reflection, which can be of great benefit and even protection, would be equally ridiculous.
Please know that I recognize that some relationships have frequently deteriorated to the point that spouses may use a “mirror” opportunity to sling mud and verbally and emotionally bash each other. I am not giving license to that. What I am encouraging, however, is that we each look into the “reflection” provided by our spouse, we examine it closely to see if it just might be true. And if it is – that we sincerely and honestly address it. Who knows – he or she might even reflect – that we look pretty good at times. Of course – my hair is still a mess in the mornings.