I don’t know if I asked the question “What If?” a lot when I was a child but I know that I certainly thought it. “What if I sneak a cookie and nobody notices?” “What if I light a firecracker that I have placed under a brick?” Or, one of my favorites was when the transformer on my electric train set went bad. My dad had said that he would get a new one for me, but he seemed to be taking way too long to do it. So, I thought, “What if I took these two bare wires and connected them to the train track and then stuck them into the wall socket?” Let’s just say that the results were very interesting.
Whether we state them out loud or not, most of us think in “What Ifs,” and far too often we frame it in negative terms. “I could ask that girl out but what if she turns me down?” “I could apply for that job but what if they have already found someone with more experience and they are not interested in me?” Or “I want to share my honest feelings with my spouse but what if he or she discounts them, or worse, laughs at me?”
However, I can’t help but wonder what if we changed our “what ifs?” Think of the questions above. “I could ask that girl out and what if she said yes and liked me?” “I could apply for that job and what if I was a perfect fit for the company.” And, “I want to be vulnerable with my spouse and what if he or she wants to be vulnerable in return?”
Learning to reframe those “what ifs” can open an entirely new world of possibilities in our relationships. So, why not ponder today how you might begin to make this change. I mean, what if you did and the people you love most responded in kind?