“When we stood there getting married, I remember the preacher saying, ‘For better, for worse; in sickness, and in health.” I was 20 years old and I thought, I wonder what ‘in sickness and in health means. I thought, he’ll have a stroke in 40 years; I can do that.” – Darnly Motter
Many of us may have stood with our husband or wife to be and thought something similar. As long as, “sickness, poorer, or worse” was waaay down the road, further than we could imagine – it seemed doable. For Darnly Motter, sickness came 9 years later when they had two children and she was pregnant with their third.
Driving home from dinner, Darnly and her husband Larry were hit head-on by a 16 year old drunken driver who had also used drugs. The kids were fine and Darnly had a few broken bones. But Larry lost his memories and with that, much of his life. Initially hoping to see progress, his wife eventually learned that she had to accept Larry as he was.
While he can still be loving and funny – he will never remember to do the small things such as getting his wife flowers or chocolates on Valentine’s Day. And yet, his wife doesn’t allow that to derail her. She clearly states that they celebrate a different kind of love: commitment. “It’s a love that’s a decision. It’s a decision to do the best thing you can for somebody else.” “My whole goal, my whole life was to make Larry the best he can be with what he has.”
For some, it is learning to deal with a sick spouse; perhaps for others – a child with a disability. Or it may be that we are simply still learning to deal with petty differences or irritating behaviors. But whatever our situation – we are summoned to this decision called “love.” This week I encourage you to reflect on how you are doing with this “decision” you have made regarding those most important relationships in your life.