Earlier this week I had the privilege of being interviewed by a radio station in Ohio. As we discussed the challenges of marriage, we began to explore the details of relationships that have “gone cold.” These may be couples who have not given needed attention to their relationship, resulting in a staleness or complacency. On the other hand, it could refer to those who, somewhere along the way, hit a major wall and never did the work to recover. As a result, they have grown distant and adversarial. The conversation turned toward intentionality in focus that translates into a treasured relationship. At this point in the interview, the host told a personal story that I want to share with you here.
It seems that as her parents aged, they began to have their particular health challenges. Her mom struggled with early signs of dementia and her dad began to have physical issues – both of which were more challenging than she and her siblings could address. As a result, they had to arrange for their parents to move into an assisted living facility. One day, her dad told her brother that he wanted to purchase a love seat for their room. Her brother responded with, “Dad, why do you need a love seat in here when you have a good chair to sit in as does mom?” The dad responded with, “Yes I know we have two good chairs but I need a love seat so that I can put my arm around my Sweetie.”
With that story, the question that confronts each of us who are married is – “Where do you sit?” Do you sit in your comfortable but individual chair, or do you make it a point to sit next to your spouse? It sounds like such a simple thing but it says a great deal about your relationship and what is important to you. So, my tip today is this – get close and put your arm around your Sweetie. It can speak volumes.