Whether we realized or not, when we married our spouse, we probably went into the marriage with a set of expectations. We most likely weren’t even aware that we did so – that is, until our expectations crashed into each other’s.
For example, you may have grown up in a very traditional household where your dad took care of the lawn, the car maintenance, and generally anything that was in the garage or outside. And your mom took care of all of the responsibilities inside the house. So, since you grew up with that worldview, you tend to assume the rest of the world did too.
But what if your mate came from a family where the women mowed the lawn and the men prepared the meals? Wow! That would likely torque your head. And then if you somehow stumble along until you have kids, then you attempt, with some success, to pawn off as many tasks as possible onto them (I mean, that is why we have kids isn’t it?), what happens when they move away? Then you are back to square one.
As we enter marriage, we are all likely aware of some of the more mundane tasks that need addressing and they are often made complicated by unexpressed expectations. Understanding this may enable you to focus more on communicating with your spouse regarding different upbringings. There is not a right way or a wrong way to divvy up responsibilities – I know how difficult that may be for some to grasp. But if you are willing to communicate with an open mind, you can create a new normal that will work for you both individually and as a couple.