People worry. Ok – not a news flash but it is a true statement. While it rarely accomplishes much, except to stress us out, we continue to do it. Some deal with worry by doing something physical – like jogging or going to the gym. Others want to talk about it, perhaps with someone they trust.
An interesting phenomenon is when I see a husband and wife worried about the same thing, but unable to talk about it with each other. They want to, but are frequently afraid of making the other one’s stress increase, which is understandable. However, a recent study coming out of the University of Southern California, reported that the exact opposite is what tends to happen. People benefit from venting and talking about their concerns. But the report found that when people vent to someone else who is worried as well, they seem to feel better.
Married couples encounter all kinds of mutual stressors – their children become involved with drugs, difficulty with finances, or perhaps chronically ill parents. Far too often, these marriages hit these rocky places and begin to come unraveled. This research data has significant implications for our marriages as well as our own stress levels. Rather than withdraw to our own emotional corner and feel even more isolated, engaging with our partner and venting with one another could very well be a stress reducer and a marriage enhancer.
I want to encourage you today to examine the things that are burdening your marriage – that are causing anxiety for you and your spouse. Then approach your stressed out mate, and begin to engage in a sharing process that can lighten the load for both of you. This may be a different approach from what you have been doing. And a different approach may be just what is needed.