Do you remember as a kid, playing a game such as kick-ball, volleyball, miniature golf, or any number of other games – when someone would make an initial mistake and would immediately say “Do-over?” It was if they were saying, “That mistake I made didn’t really happen. I want another shot at it.” And as kids, we would often accept the “Do-over” premise and move on.
As we got older, we learned that do-overs don’t always work. If you’re playing football and you are down by a touch-down with three seconds on the game-clock, you only have one shot. There will be no do-overs.
Sometimes we approach issues in our most important relationships as though the other person has one chance to do things right. And you may have some one-shot “red-lines,” such as “If he ever hits me I’m done,” or if she ever cheats on me I’m done.” I would certainly understand those sentiments.
But what about other matters? What about – “She didn’t follow-through on making sure the kids turned their homework in; she always drops the ball on that. I just can’t trust her.” Or “He promises to make time for date nights but it is just talk. He plays video games all the time. He’ll never make me a priority. I give up” But I would ask – “Is there an opportunity for do-overs?”
Giving our mate a second-chance at missed opportunities can be powerful. We have all dropped the ball – ALL OF US. But what can happen when we extend grace? Possibilities! When we give second chances (and sometimes third and fourth), we demonstrate love for our spouse – the way that we want to be loved, as well as we model powerful examples for our children.
Perhaps, next time your mate blows it – how about if you were to be the one who said for them – “Do-over.”