What are You Supposed to Do?
By Barry D. Ham, Ph.D.
Why do you do what you do? Ponder that for a moment…. Now apply that same question to pretty much everything. Why are you living where you do? Attending the school – working at the job – going on the vacation – that you do? Again, why do you do
what you do?
Do What is Expected?
Most people are content to adhere to a life script that looks sornething like this:
a) Spend your elementary years watching cartoons and playing make-believe games with your friends.
b) Try not to stand out too much during middle school in order to make it to high school in one piece.
c) Don’t say anything that will make you unpopular and do your best to get okay grades in high school so you can get into college.
d) Go to college so you can get a diploma in order to get a job
e) Get a job in your chosen field in order to make a living.
f) Get married so that you will have a companion and so that you can have kids (though in this age it doesn’t always seem to be in that order)
g) Build a life creating the 2.5 kids, obtaining the dog and cat, buying the brick house with the two-car garage, and taking the annual vacation
h) Regularly invest in your 401(k) plan so that you can retire as soon as possible from that job that you only slightly enjoy (and that is on a good day)
i) Retire and become a couch potato, a snowbird, or a perpetual RV traveler so that you can…..well;
j) Wait for life to end.
Okay, I know I haven’t painted this life in the best of lights, but I can’t tell you the number of individuals ages 65, 75, or 85 with whom I have spoken who have described their lives in similar terms. When I asked them if they were satisfied with their last three quarters of a century, their reply, far too often, is, “No. If I then pursue questioning, “Then why did you do it this way?” the response is often, “Because that is what I thought I was supposed to do.
In other words, they had followed the pattern handed down by their parents, allowed themselves to be influenced by the pursuits of their friends, or got caught in the flow of the society and culture-_chasing dreams of money and success as presented throughout the media. They didn’t do too much thinking–they just followed.
But we are called to think and that thinking must begin at the beginning – with the One who created us and set us on this planet on this journey called life.
Do What is Most Important
Once while Jesus was teaching, one of the religious leaders asked Him what Once while Jesus was teaching, one of the religious leaders asked Him what the greatest commandment was, or as we might ask today, “What am I here for, what is most important that I should be doing?” Jesus responded with the words found in Matthew 22:37-39. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself.
The very core of our purpose emanates from the principle of love; love for God, love for our fellowman, and even love for ourselves. For the focus of this article, I want to pay particular attention to just one aspect of this passage, and that is – loving our neighbor. Frequently, when we think about our purpose being to love, we set out to love in some grandiose way. We may want to start a non-profit that helps children of single morns or open a recreation center for underprivileged teens. We might even determine that we have been called to serve the poor in some third world country.
While all of these are worthy endeavors, what God is calling us to in this passage is even bigger. Now this might leave you a little puzzled; you may be wondering what could be bigger, and are you even capable of anything bigger.
Do the “Extra-ordinary”
You see, we often believe that in order to effectively love others, we must create a foundation or do something on a magnificent scale. However, I want to suggest that doing the extraordinary is actually found in doing the ordinary. For example, consider this – which would you rather do, coordinate a charity 5K run, raising money for the victims of school violence, or spend an afternoon visiting with seniors at a local assisted living facility? Would you be more attracted to organizing a bake sale for your school’s
parent-teacher organization, or help nurse your spouse through a serious case of the flu? If you are like most, you probably found your thoughts gravitating to the more noteworthy efforts. And yet, what we are called to is – loving that is ordinary.
We see a perfect example of this in the encounter Jesus had with the disciples in John13:1-17. It was at the Passover supper that Jesus grabbed the bowl of water and the towel and began to wash the disciple’s feet. His followers were thrown a curve ball because He was their master, their teacher, the Son of the Most High. This is not what a person in charge does. This was a lowly servant task. They didn’t know what to think. But as Jesus concludes the washing of their feet He says, “Do you understand what I have done for you? You call me Teacher and ‘Lord, and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.
In others words, in the “ordinary’ is found the “extraordinary.” So, when Jesus says, “Love your neighbor,” what is He telling us? Is He saying that we should sponsor children in poverty ridden nations? Yes! Is He urging us to make sure those around us Bible School? Of course! But all of those have something in cormon – we are usually loving, in some way, those who may not know us very well. But how about if you spend the afternoon cleaning up the kitchen- even though it is your sibling’s turn–because he or she is busy with a school project. Or what if husbands were to take care of all of the parenting responsibilities tonight – (dinner, homework, baths, etc.) because your wife is trying to complete last minute details on a work presentation that is due tomorrow?
Here is where the ordinary becomes the building blocks of the extraordinary. From creating philanthropic foundations to serving meals at the local soup kitchen, to changing your child’s (or parent’s) diaper – loving my neighbor as myself may look like
any and all of these.
But here is a secret I have learned. Luke 16:10 indicates a principle – that those who can be trusted in the small, the ordinary things, will eventually be entrusted with the larger – the extraordinary. If I desire to be used to love others in what we consider more significant ways, I must begin by loving those who may be difficult (family certainly can fit this bill) first. This is, in fact, part of the reason why i am here. So, back to my original question – Why do you (me, any of us) do what we do?
It is my hope and prayer that as we examine the truths of scripture that we will conclude – we are called to love our neighbor. This begins with our family first – those closest to us – those who may be the most difficult to love. We are to love in the practical everyday details of life. But it is by loving in the ordinary that we please and honor our extraordinary Father.
This is why we are here!